Your Cart is Empty

Dragon's Crown would make for an amazing 80s movie, what games would you like to see on the big screen?

October 21, 2018 2 min read

[Header image: Sorceress (1982)]

Video Game Movies. They rarely work out, right? Sometimes made as a quick straight-to-video cash-in, sometimes made with the best of intentions, either way they usually fail deliver an experience worthy of fan expectations, or their source material. Alone in the Dark, Dead or Alive, BloodRayne, Dead Rising, even Far Cry. It doesn't matter if you cast Kevin Nash as Bass Armstrong, you probably should've just left well enough alone.

The problem here, all things considered, is that Hollywood isn't coming to me for ideas. 'Cos I got your pitch: Dragon's Crown. Give me a couple of million dollars, a mound of the white stuff, and send me back to the early 1980's and I'll give you a movie based on Vanillaware's RPG brawler that would've set the American box-office on fire.

We'll get in Sybil Danning as Amazon, Julian Sands as Wizard and Maggie Cheung as Elf, or the shopkeeper, or anybody (I just want her in the movie). Recently-discovered megastar Arnie can play Fighter, which will give the whole shitflick some Hollywood gloss. For the villains, we'll hire special effects genius Tom Savini to create a horrifying roster of beasts, monsters, and demons.

Roger Corman can executive produce, to guarantee Dragon's Crown wraps in two weeks, well under-budget and missing a ton of vitally-important scenes. Then all that's left is casting of the pivotal role of Sorceress... Hmm... I guess I gotta give it to Cassandra Peterson, better known to Z-list movie fans as the incomparable Elvira: Mistress of the Dark.

Stick in a bucketful of gore and I reckon that'll make for a pretty sweet 75 minutes on the silver screen, wouldn't you agree?  Krull would be bricking it come the Summer blockbuster season. Can you do better? of course you can. Let us know below what video games you think should be up there on the big screen. In the meantime, here are some ideas from the Destructoid crew.

Dragon's Crown would make for an amazing 80s movie, what games would you like to see on the big screen? screenshot