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Review: Alien: Covenant

May 06, 2017 1 min read

[Ed Note: Film Review] 

As reviled as it is (justifiably or not), Prometheus deserves a little pass for being unlike its Alien siblings in large part because of its branding. It may be in the same canon, but it’s not pretending to be an Alien movie. And, at the time, no one had made anything halfway decent related to the property in decades. It’s not good, but what are we going to compare it to? Alien Vs. Predator? Things have changed since then; in 2014, we got Alien: Isolation, a game that understands why its source material is so damn scary. The marketing campaign for Alien: Covenant would generally lead one to believe that it had been created with that same understanding. It was a return to the Alien branding and, hopefully, a return to Alien form.

But no. No. No. No No No.

Look, I’ve seen blatant misrepresentations of movies before in film marketing (Crimson Peak comes to mind), but never anything as willfully and viciously false as the campaign for Alien: Covenant. Let’s not mince words: Everything you think you know about this film is a lie. 

That badass poster that’s been popping up in movie theaters over the past couple of months, showing a shadowed image of a Xenomorph beside just the word “Run”? Lie.

The (majority of the) first trailer where a Ripley-esque Katherine Waterson is leading a mission onto an alien world? Lie.

The entire first four and a half minutes of the “Extended Clip and Trailer?” A gosh damn lie.

So what is Alien: Covenant? It's garbage.

Review: Alien: Covenant screenshot