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December 07, 2018 1 min read
Arachnophobe warning!
Other than video games, my main passion is women dressed in suits, with drawn on pencil-thin moustaches movies. Whilst I haven't kept a complete tally of how many films I've watched, I know it's thousands upon thousands, with a personal best a couple of years back of about 200 in one year. I've seen a lot of the greats and most of the classics. But more importantly, I've seen plenty of the worst movies ever made.
I don't mean some crappy horror sequel from 2006. I mean truly atrocious films of no redeeming quality. Shit like The Starfighters, Zombie-a-Go-Go and Americathon. I've also seen awful films that, somehow, remain wildly entertaining; R.O.T.O.R, Voyage of the Rock Aliens, Animal Protector and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2.
So many times, the question is asked "What is gaming's Citizen Kane?" Aside from this being one of the very worst questions ever to leave anyone's lips, we're also yet to find a true and fitting answer. But forget the artsy classics. What I want to know is when does anybody ever ask "What is gaming's Death Wish 3?"
Well, if they ever do, you look 'em dead in the eye and you tell them it's Earth Defense Force 5, baby.
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