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Russell Crowe's jockstrap couldn't save the last Alaskan Blockbuster store

July 13, 2018 1 min read

Today, there are three functioning Blockbuster stores in the United States of America. Come Monday, there will be only one.

It was inevitable, after all. Blockbuster, long known as the Highlander of video vendors, has been playing the deadliest of games since 2005. Sure, Netflix, Redox, streaming media and cell phones will all try to take the glory for beheading the one-time behemoth, but in the end, it was always going to be one Blockbuster murdering another with a sword. It began in kilts somewhere in Scotland, it ended in black suits in the streets of New York Alaska. Sword in hand, lighting bolts shaking its balls, the last Blockbuster from Bend, Oregon will stand supreme.

It was inevitable.

Several weeks ago, John Oliver and the team at Last Week Tonight attempted to save the Alaskan Blockbusters by sending them a large batch of Russell Crowe memorabilia that they frivolously bought at auction. Included in the lot, Russell Crowe's jockstrap from Cinderella Man, which seems to have been the killing stroke. That's like trying to save a gunshot victim by applying pressure to the wounds with more gunshots.

Russell Crowe's jockstrap couldn't save the last Alaskan Blockbuster store screenshot

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